Ever been bothered by something? A fiction story of a guy who desire to improve his hobby yet due to other responsibilities he see himself unproductive to the thing that he love the most. A brief walk-through to such struggle that you might probably encounter.
“I’ve been dancing for a long time yet nothing happen. Sad and frustrated I am yet my spirit within me love dancing. Dancing is my way of communicating and expressing my emotion. Emotion takes me away from what my mind opposes to. Yet nothing happen to me. It gets me even more sad and frustrated. This feeling bothers me, so I ask why.
Why this feeling bother me? Did I truly know what am I up to? Did I know what my dancing really is all about? I am 12 years old since the day I started dancing. Remembering those days as I was walking along the street going to school, I see these break dancers they say. As I watch them doing their thing while I pass by I notice their moves which struck me. Yet I ignore it. My focus was to give my best in school. School is tough; a lot of home works need to be done. Study, study and study must be your mastery to have good grades if it is not best. But my mind did not know what I am really up to. School take me to a different level of thinking. It shows me the result of my studies and participation. Dancing takes me to nowhere. That bothers me so I keep on asking.
I dance alone beside the wall of our house. Just to get rid all that my mind opposed to. I put that into dance move. I know little about dancing but I did not spend much time focusing on that since I need to do my best in school. Sure I am naive and innocent in handling these. Sure I am, but these did not stop me from expressing my emotion through dancing. That’s the reason why I started dancing at the first place. It’s been years that I see myself the same. That feeling bother me.
Did I lack something? Did I put much effort on dancing compared to school? Am I afraid to lose something? Such thought came across my mind again and again but in different form. These bother me even. Yet my spirit connects me to dance. Maybe it’s me? maybe that’s the reason. So I begun to investigate. I talk and chat and seek help to those that I know may help me.
I ask. They told me to stop thinking negative thought that discourage you to purse your desire. They encourage me to just continue what I am doing. They boost my self-esteem. They even help me know more about dancing. This keep the connection I have with dancing. I reason against my own mind. I reason to stop what really hinders. I cast aside what really bothers.
I cast aside negative thought that my mind keep on thinking. I started ignoring such thought and learn to fill-in good stuff to think on. I cast aside hobbies that hinder my connection to dance. I cast aside double-mindedness and learn to handle responsibilities and my hobby. I cast aside the very thought of being bothered. Yet I did not compromise my studies. I put effort, a lot of effort to it since it gives me improvement and enhance me even more. But in dancing, these became a stepping stone for me to test and improved.
What bothers me is the thought of entertaining such opposition that discourage me on improving my dancing and isolate me in myself which make me naive and innocent towards what really dancing is about and blinded my reasoning on why I really dance.
I knew now that by being isolated in my own self does not really help me improve in my hobby. It is important to know why I start on the first place. Then I investigate from that time up to present to learn and see what really is happening. That then allows me to open up to others who are able to help me along the way. I started fighting such opposition in my mind by reasoning out against it through positive ideas and insights. Then it enable me to be more creative in expressing my emotion than before.”